Our life is what we build it to be..

I had promised myself to be strong and collected

To be my first priority for a change

But I could feel the tears well up and make their way down my cheeks

So safe to say, I was back to my vulnerable self again!

I had by now started to believe I was a lost case

But then I remembered the words of an angel who, with such grace

Encouraged me to come out of the pool of self loathing and false pity I had soaked myself into

Thats it! I said, I had finally realised and set my actual goal to chase

There are a lot of things no number of books can ever teach us and this I think is one of them

Our life is what we chose it to be , what we build it to be and the poor stars are not to be blamed

It will always give you challenges and throw tantrums even , only to sit back and enjoy waching you stumble and fall , when

“Haha You Lose!” It will have claimed

Haunted memories

She wound the rugged jacket tightly around herself

Its scent made her feel close to her dad

It made her feel safe, warm and fearless

Now it wasnt pretty and pink like the others

But it suited perfectly her disguise, one she strived to maintain

The deliberate walls she built around herself, never letting anyone in

Or the stone cold , bulletproof attitude she had mastered

Others beleived that she wore it to protect her body

But it was her heart that she really intended to save with her pretence

Inside, she always wanted badly to beleive in fairytales and santa claus

To dance around in the rains and chase butterflies across

But it took only one look, one touch,

One scream is all she could manage before shattering into million pieces

The one person she loved as much as her own father, whom she trusted,

Had now been a permanent part of her nightmares

The memory of his lusty eyes and drooling face still made her shrug

She hated hersef for being weak and letting him crush her, for not being able to defend herself

She hated how she let that one person affect her so much

To make her beleive that all of it was her fault

How it created this large void in her soul and filled it with hatred,

Towards herself and everone else

Noticing a silent tear roll down her cheek,

He cupped her face and held her closer

Before she met him, she’d accepted to be broken, damaged forever

It was strange, how one man scarred her for life while another one wanted lovingly to spend his entire life healing them

She looked deeply into his blue eyes, overwhelmed by the love and respect they reflected

She no longer needed the walls around her, she was happy to have let him in,

She felt vulnerable and yet safe in his arms

Something she thought was impossible before

She’d finally found her prince charming!!!

Wanna share a muffin?

I dont know why I try to camouflage in their skin

And not stand up for myself, for what I am within

Adding layers upon layers and masks upon masks

Anything to fill the deep pit of soliteriness and self loathing, why do I do it to myself I ask

Why cant I enjoy a queit cup of coffee with my favourite book ,

And not care about my messy braid or how I look?

Why is everyone so reluctant to stand out ,

To simply smile instead of woo and pout?

I wonder if I’ll ever find, in this world of picture perfect freak shakes and fries

Someone who’d like to share … maybe a muffin? Or atleast tries..?